There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I need water and some morals
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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