The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
