Porn is love you can see.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
