make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
