At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
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He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
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I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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