dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize