from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
