This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
