No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
