Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
