went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
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I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
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we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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