Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
