i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
