I didn't shave. On purpose
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
