I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
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Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
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I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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