She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
