It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize