The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
