it wasn't lemon gatorade
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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