With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
