Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
from now on my penis is your penis
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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