So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Randomize
