how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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