I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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