I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
