this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
