how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Your penis caused this!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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