And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
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i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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