no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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