I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
