dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
