I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
