Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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