Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
