he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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