Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I want a musical about memes.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize