I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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