I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize