You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
