So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize