the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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