his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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