Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
we're so committed to being not committed
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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