Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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