i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
