you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
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Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
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The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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