You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
