idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize