People with herpes should wear stickers.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
