You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
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i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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