youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
