i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
