Farmville is her only friend.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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