just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
