Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
