He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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