he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
