Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
