How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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