But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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