They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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