There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
