Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
