Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
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