Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i would punch a child for taco bell
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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