You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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