I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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