i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
