Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize